Counting in Nepal - Girl Effect

To put this all in context, I am a delightfully middle class young man sitting outside the British Film Institute on the South Bank of the River Thames in London, drinking a latte, typing on my tiny laptop and listening to music on my iphone.

I have watched the six Girl Effect videos and I was very impressed. They weren’t the usual campaign videos, they showed what can happen when an individual works hard and makes a difference to their own life. They aren’t about the helping hand, they are about real trailblazers who have helped to raise expectations for others. The ‘ask’ if anything, is to now help the mass of people to achieve the high expectation they have gained from seeing inspirational individuals succeed.

The thing that really got me is they are not asking for the single ‘feel good’ financial gift, they want long term support for others. Long term support that they want is for those things that we so take for granted like not having to watch our family die in a poorly sanitised house or an education. I know that some people in the ‘developed’ world may not believe in the principles of universal healthcare but in the 21st Century, have we any excuse for letting our neighbours suffer, in the age of the internet have we any excuse to keep our neighbours uneducated? When I can fly to Africa quicker than I can drive to my parents’ house, yes I do consider them my neighbour.

I am going to tell you a quick story from my experience because I have more knowledge of it than issues such as HIV or young marriages.

I was in Nepal in 2006 working for a children’s charity and I was tasked with teaching a group of young girls how to write, draw and take photographs. Oh my it was good fun but as the time went on and they learned to trust me, more was revealed about their pasts.

The girls had been trafficked into India and rescued and they were with the charity to either wait to be reconnected with their families or to complete their education and enter the world. Many of the girls were scarred and had a variety of on-going injuries and some had missing fingers and so on. The most striking thing about most of the girls is that they were initially sold by their parents.

This sounds very bad and is indeed very bad but the traffickers offered the family a big down payment and promised riches for their children and got the parents to sign contracts, either written in English or Hindi but more often than not the parents were illiterate and so just signed with an X. The parents trusted these people to help their children and the worst you could accuse many of them was immense naivety.

The thing about these girls was, many of them had been abused and even if they hadn’t, Nepali society assumed that they were no longer ‘pure’. This meant that integration back into society would be very difficult because no man would want an impure wife in a caste system where many women were disregarded anyway.

The family of one girl requested that she go back to them so that she could look after her brother’s new child. The girl didn’t want to but unless she could support herself, as she was approaching the age where she would have to leave the refuge, she would have to. The managers of the refuge said that if she could learn to count then she would be able to stay on as a house mother and get paid to look after the other children. She needed to learn to count so that when she went to buy produce for the children’s meals, she would be able to count what she was getting as well as making the correct payment and receive the correct change.

I took on the challenge of helping her to learn but as she had never received any formal education and as I had very limited ability to speak Nepali, we anticipated a lot of difficulties. I had to learn what I wanted to teach just before each lesson started, so I learnt to count to ten, and then I taught it back. I learnt how to count the different denominations of Rupees and then I taught it back. This went on for three or four weeks, a daily lesson and constant encouragement from the staff and the other girls in the refuge.

As the weeks passed she kept trying to convince me she was ready but how was I meant to know whether she would cope in the real world?

In my final few days in Nepal I said that I would cook a meal for all of the girls in the refuge, so I took her to the shops with me to buy the food. I was buying some meat and after deciding on a price, I gave the shop keeper the wrong denomination of note, “Stop!”

She had seen what I was handing over and worked out that I was trying to pay about seven times the price that had been suggested.

I was over the moon that she had noticed my mistake and so I handed over my money and she conducted all of the transactions that were left in our trip.

It was an absolute success.

She was offered the job of house mother by the charity and she has since taught others how to count and to my knowledge, she still works there.

Sometimes making a difference to one person can make a change in their whole world and their new found positivity and knowledge can be passed on to change more worlds.

After that trip to Nepal I spent a lot of time worrying that I had only helped a few children in one town, in one region, in one country, in one continent and so on. I forgot that helping one person to help others can be the change we all want to see in the world. That is why I’ve spent a bit of time tapping away because maybe someone will scroll through all of these wonderful Girl Effect blogs and change someone’s world as a result.


If you want to write a Girl Effect blog post, please visit  http://www.taramohr.com/girleffectposts/

RIP Rosie

It may seem insensitive to blog about someones passing but i think and hope her family will take this in the spirit that it is intended.

Today, September 12 2011, Rosie Kilburn sadly passed away. I didn't know Rosie personally although given the age and our tendency to communicate online, I guess reading each other's blogs and tweeting does count as knowing someone.

Rosie battled cancer for a number of years and by battled, I mean tooth and nail. So many times I read her blog and I was convinced that she was going to win. The people who read her blog shared her ups and downs and optimism was rife. It just seemed too cruel that she would be taken.

During her final years she raised so much money for cancer charities and hospices through her website and her families and friends fundraising efforts. She was the personification of inspiration and she made sure that her legacy was hope for others.

Her family wrote a bog post today entitled, 'the post we never wanted to write'. For the many that read her blog, it was the post we didn't want to read.

Rosie's life was lived and I think that is a hue compliment to her. It is too easy to say it is a wakeup call for people to actually live their lives, instead look at it like this, a young woman lived her life, she loved her life and she loved others whilst doing good things for society. How many of you can say that reflects your own?

My thoughts are with Rosie's family, boyfriend and friends but I hope they are taking solace in the fact that she helped and inspired so many.

Please take a minute to look at Rosie's website: http://www.theknockoneffect.co.uk

RIP Rosie

Ginger Mourinho strikes again

Sheffield Wednesday have played eight games in all competitions during August, winning all the home matches and losing all of the away matches. Two of these games have come against either Premiership or recently Premiership teams and so what all those at Valley Parade and those watching on sky witnessed, was a manager working within the rules of the game when forced to make decisions that he wasn’t comfortable with.

Gary ‘Ginger Mourinho’ Megson substituted Nicky Weaver after one minute and then took off two outfield players with the next fifteen minutes. This wasn’t an act of rebellion but the act of a manager who wanted to use the Johnsons Paint Trophy tie to his advantage and give a chance to some players who are either on the cusp of the first team or still developing through the youth ranks. Ayo Obileye made his debut at a mere sixteen years old and despite a few mistakes that a more experienced defender would have made, he did himself proud. Richard O’Donnell, a player who took us through the first round of the league cup with his penalty heroics was not deemed to be a first team player and as such had to start on the bench before entering the field of play after a whole minute. Giles Coke another play who came on has substantial first team experience and Cecil Nyoni is the proud possessor of a professional contract and has played in the first team.

What right does the football league have to dictate the squads that are played during cup ties? I understand the rule that first team squads must be put out but that doesn’t mean that six first team regulars must play. If someone is deemed good enough to be offered a professional football contract by their club then they are good enough to play in league and cup games. It is an absurd notion that just because someone did not play in the previous few matches that they cannot play in the cup.

Sheffield Wednesday, like many other clubs, are targeting promotion and there are a lot of games between now and the end of the season. Three cup games, on top of league games, at this point in the season is not good for teams with small squads. The league deprived three more footballers of the opportunity to get a game because if Gary Megson wasn’t forced into making the choice he made, then he would have been able to give other players the opportunity of first team football.

The fans that attended the game in Bradford knew what they were going to watch, a second string Sheffield Wednesday side play a near full strength Bradford side. It wasn’t a glamour tie, it was on Sky and so did more for us financially than if we’d have gone through and had to host the next round at home. The consensus that I have gathered is that the young players equipped themselves very well and proved the point that in the right circumstances, they are ready for first team football.

It was not an act of disrespect to Bradford that Wednesday fielded youth players and that we made three substitutions in seventeen minutes. Bradford are a proud club, full of tradition and real family values and in my experience, they have great fans and create a great atmosphere. It is more disrespectful that the league think that some professional footballers are good enough and some are not. The score was 0-0 at full time, hardly a score that shames a team with a fair few new players and youth team players is it? What better lesson in lower league football for the new Wednesday loanee striker, Danny Uchechi, than a size ten boot in his back from Guy Branston?

At half time the official Sheffield Wednesday website announced that the club had signed Ryan Lowe from Bury FC. By all accounts his goal record speaks for itself and his age only means that he can bring a wealth of experience to a team that is often lacking in attacking prowess. The signing of Lowe, the recent signing of Chris O’Grady from Rochdale combined with Gary Madine and Clinton Morrison means that for the first time in a while, Wednesday may have an attacking force to fear. If Jermaine Johnson can stay injury free, him and Chris Sedgwick can provide quality balls for any of the aforementioned strikers and maybe, just maybe, Wednesday will find a twenty a season man.

Gary Megson has proved shrewd amongst the panic of the transfer window and watching him laugh with players that he had taken to Bradford for a minutes football, it seems obvious that he has a solid relationship with the players. His commitment to the youth team was questioned after eleven boys were sent out to play eleven men and humiliated 14-0 but the teams that have proudly worn the blue and white in the cup games shows that even with the dismantling of the reserve squad, there is a very definite commitment to bringing youth players through.

Notting Hill Carnival

The Notting Hill Carnival arrived in town but without its usual swagger. Yes, the floats were vibrant, colourful and most of all loud but the atmosphere amongst the crowd seemed to be lacking. There were the usual middle class white kids in jumpers that were way too big but many people walked around, myself included, with our valuables in our pockets, hands on them and being more self aware than normal. Shops were boarded up, as were houses as the community appeared to turn its back on the event. You had the feeling that you were visiting an event rather than taking part in a community event.

The high policing levels and the fact that many people are currently in prison following the riots probably led to a few less ‘rude boys’ wandering the streets but there was still the sexism, cat calls and general misogyny that it all too common at the carnival. The floats, although as previously stated, were vibrant, colourful and very loud, they did seem a bit cobbled together. It’s no Rio carnival that is for sure.

Maybe I am missing the point and being too down on the whole affair but I am past the age where I want to see women who should know better wear thongs and bikini’s whilst gyrating to bad reggae in the street and I am certainly past laughing at the men who verbally lambast them for making the decision not to be groped.

I think this year’s carnival was marred by an undercurrent of fear. Only when it was over did people come out and declare it a success. To be an event with 200+ arrests and a near fatal stabbing isn’t a success but maybe I am just too middle class to enjoy these things anymore.

When the spirit got me I did have a little dance and took some pictures but my heart was never really in it.

It’s life I guess, some things die a death.

My weekend

It is Saturday night and I am sat on my bed writing to you all drinking a pre-mixed rum and coke...I have job applications to do tomorrow so I guess my weekend is already over.

Friday - I went to see Journey's End at the Duke of York Theatre, London.

This is a stunning and at times heart wrenching piece of theatre was admired by Winston Churchill and its first performance starred an unknown Laurence Olivier. Steeped in history it will not disappoint those looking for a first-hand account of life in the trenches.

It was written within ten years of World War One ending and by a man who fought in the trenches. Now that none of the brave souls who fought in that war are still with us, first-hand accounts of the conflict have also gone. A play such as Journey's End should be admired for bringing history to life.

The set is simple but incredible effective and the sound goes some way to expressing what it may have been like to live there. The battle that the play is set around saw over one million shells land on British trenches in five hours and as such, the sound will not convey that but it is certainly more than you would expect for a west end play.

Several first class performances really help you engage with the characters. You will laugh and cry and at the finale, you will sit in silence not really comprehending the immenseness of that war.

Saturday – Lots of thing!

We went to Loraine Pascal’s bakery in Covent Garden, Ella’s Bakehouse. I say with no word of a lie, their cupcakes are incredible. I had a malteser cupcake which consisted of vanilla sponge with crushed maltesers inside and a delicious creamy topping with crushed maltesers on. Their service was excellent, the cupcakes were excellent and although they were a bit pricey compared to a supermarket equivalent, there is really no competition and they are worth every penny.

Then we went to the Museum of Broken Relationships at the Tristan Bates Theatre just near Covent Garden. For those who don’t know the premise, it is a touring exhibition where people can donate items that they associate with a broken relationship. 

Highlights were a gnome that had been run over by someone’s ex as they drove away from their house and for me the most moving piece was a radio that someone had been given by a partner and that they had listened to the bombings in Yugoslavia on.

The exhibition originated in Croatia and so many of the pieces are from the Balkans but it is definitely worth it, the £3.50 entry is a bargain.

We then went to the press photographs of the year exhibition at the National Theatre on the Southbank. So many of the photographs are recognisable from newspapers but it is a treat to see them blown up in the glory that many of them deserve.

Brief I know but I thought you may be interested.

The Ginger Mourinho - What is his plan?

Gary Megson has taken the first steps to redemption for a crime he didn’t commit. The downfall of Sheffield Wednesday over the last fifteen year’s was not his fault but he is the one who is charged with the task of getting a once great club back to dizzying heights.

The first game of the season has come and gone. The anticlimax came about four hours after the final whistle. It gets tedious when fans of eight different clubs are giving jibes to each the others because they are top of the league. By the way, Sheffield Wednesday are currently joint top but still above Sheffield United on alphabetical differences.

Wednesday new boys Rob Jones and David Prutton scored a goal each to complete a 2-0 victory over Rochdale, a repeat of last year’s fixture at Hillsborough. Rob Jones got the opener from a set piece whilst “Jesus scored a wonder goal” was the general turn of phrase on twitter for a good while after Prutton scored the second.

After reading reports from the match afterwards, one thing has stuck in my mind, people are saying that we had done our research on the opposition and shut off all their effect channels of attack. It seems that good scouting combined with clever new acquisitions won the day.

For all those who may not like Gary Megson and his style of play, you cannot fault the fact that not only did we close down Rochdale who have a reputation for playing some quite good football at times. We got goals from defence and midfielders and the striker who was substituted, Clinton Morrison, still came off to rapturous applause.  This shows an all round good performance from the owls.

Gary Megson said of the victory, "It was a very good day because we scored our first goal, got our first point, first clean sheet and first win.

"That's a full house and great to get on the first day. I thought we were very good. We said to the players what we wanted out of the first game and got the lot.

Megson added: "It was something that Howard Wilkinson instilled into us when I was a player and we were fortunate enough to get all those things."

Under Alan Irvine there were too often players who did not seem to know what they were doing and heads went down if a goal was conceded. Although the next few games will accurately assess any real change in squad mentality, a telling point was the whole team celebrating together when the Owls scored.

If Wednesday win 2-0 in every home game for the rest of the season, the fans would be delighted but even more so, if the players and management team put in that level of planning and commitment, then the Owls won’t be far from the top come the end of the season.

On days like Saturday you can see hope, a tough opening game against a team who can easily capitalise on your mistakes and make you pay. The result was positive, the performance was positive and everyone went in the same direction. You lose together and win together, that is what Saturday felt like. Despite Megson's full house this time around, no one knows what his next hand is. More of the same is the hope.

Happy Birthday

Happy Birthday to me!
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